DUI Shouldn't Hurt Paris Hilton's Image
Paris Hilton's publicist recently said that the actress, singer, model, shopper and party prancer's image will not be hurt by the DUI she received earlier this month. This is good news for someone who has made a name for themselves through a sex tape and making a habit of looking and acting as slutty as possible.
Some say the DUI might actually help her image. It reinforces the fact that she truly is a party girl, something she is very famous for. Perhaps in the long run it might actually have hurt her image if she did not get a DUI. People might think do we know this girl? Does she really party that much? Is she really such a slut or is this all some Hollywood facade?
Peyton Manning Doing Every Dumb Commercial on TV
Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts is very talented, especially when the games don't count so much. When they do, he melts like a Tulip on a hot summer day. But despite having won only 1 playoff game, this has not stopped the ongoing love affair between Peyton Manning and his sponsors.
And there is a common theme with all of Peyton's adds. They really suck ass. Whether he is asking grocery clerks to sign his bread or sporting a 70's pornstar moustache as he whores a cell phone there is one commonality: They all really blow.
Manning is also very full of himself for someone who has won only 1 playoff game. My favorite Peyton Manning moment was in college when he played for the University of Tennessee and could be seen crying on the sideline after being thumped by Florida in a big game. So there are 2 certainties regarding Manning: He will continue to lose big games and compensate for that by doing arrogant and ridiculous adds. Why don't more people hate this guy?
Monday Night Football To Be Held in Former Shelter
Tonight football comes back to New Orleans as the city's beloved Saints host the Atlanta Falcons. Both teams enter the contest 2-0 and hope to stay unbeaten in an important divisional game.
But this game transcends the sport as it means so much to the people and city of New Orleans. The last time we saw the Superdome on TV we saw a chaotic mess of stranded minorities outside and others trying to swim to the city's sports Mecca.
But tonight will be much different as the exciting Falcons-Saints game will take place there. This will mark the Superdome's first nationally televised event since it served as a hurricane shelter. Hopefully, tonight will go better for New Orleans.
The city faces an uphill battle tonight against a team with a tough running game and stellar defense. Perhaps not as tough a challenge as Katrina, the Falcons are still a very imposing threat. The Saints must stop Michael Vick and produce offense of their own to enjoy success this evening. Success that did not come at least year's nationally televised event.
Pope Looks Like Evil Emperor From Star Wars
Pope Benedict XVI, or "The Rat" as I like to call him (His real name is John Ratzinger) has been in power for about a year and a half now. He came to the throne of the Catholic Church following the shocking death of the previous drooling Papalness John Paul II.
Pope Benedict XVI is from Germany and was criticized for being part of a Nazi youth camp as a boy (it was a great step toward the papacy back in those days). He has also recently come under fire for quoting a previous Pope who called Islam evil and violent. This surprisingly led to some violence in the Middle East.
But the thing that has struck me most about His Holiness is his striking resemblance to the Evil Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Did Cardinal Ratzinger have a secret acting career we are not aware of? Is he in fact a living and breathing Dark Sith Lord? Is he building a Death Star to destroy Earth? I don't know but I do know one thing...I smell a Rat.
It's Illegal?
Like many people, I enjoy dropping some online action for shits and giggles. Thing is, it's illegal! Gambling on sports is only legal in the state of Nevada. So everytime I log onto Sportsbetting and place a small wager on the evenings action, I am committing a crime.
Thing is, even though it is illegal, my credit card company allows me to use it on online gaming sites. These sights are run overseas, many in the UK, so they are not subjected to US laws.
For years the government has turned a blind eye to online gaming. Had they "legalized" this 4 years ago it is estimated they would have collected 1.5 billion in tax revenue. Granted, that only pays for a few days in Iraq but I'd say our treasury can use all the help it can get!
So I say as Bob Marley sang, Legalize It. Either that or stop allowing credit card companies to participate in these "illegal activities." But hey, this Congress hasn't been coined the "Do Nothing Congress for nothing!
NFL Season Kicks off With Glorious Start
The 2006 NFL season began beautifully for the defending Super Bowl champion Steelers. Without starting quarterback Dolphins and a great value. I sure enjoyed winning that contest and I know they did too.
Festivities filled the first Sunday of the season with compelling matchups like Peyton Manning vs. Eli Manning. It was the first time two brothers were pitted against one another at starting quarterback. This was an easy pick, you have to go with the older brother. It is he who played titty twister and did the intimidating.
It was also a great opening weekend for road teams like the Ravens, Chargers and Bears who all pitched shutouts. I wasn't certain of the Ravens dominance against a tough Bucs team in the Florida heat so I avoided any action on that contest.
But the Chargers a mere 3 point favorite against a terrible Raiders team was a great bargain. I kicked back with a few beers and enjoyed the very predictable thumping the Raiders received, and most enjoyed my win.
There was one big disappointment opening weekend and that was Minnesota's surprise win against the Redskins. The Vikings were not a good road team last year and the Redskins are loaded at the skilled positions. The Vikings surprised everyone defeating both the Redskins and myself.
But you know what they say, you can't win them all. You just hope your team and your wallet win most of them. And with a little research and good gut instinct this will be a successful season for many. It's just great to have America's favorite game back!
Steve Irwin Murdered By Stingray
For years Steve Irwin, "The Crocodile Hunter" entertained viewers with his crazy animal antics. Whether he was wrestling crocs or toying with snakes, one thing was certain-he was doing something he loved and whatever that was it was insane.
Steve never ceased to stop entertaining us with his insanity. If you tuned into "The Crocodile Hunter" you were guaranteed to see him doing something ludicrous. When he dangled his baby in front of a crocodile he drew global criticism and ridicule. But it was just Steve being Steve and that was acting insane.
Steve will forever be a reminder that insane people are entertaining. After all, who wants to see someone handle dangerous animals in a safe and sane way? Not me. That's boring!
Despite Steve's seemingly suicidal lifestyle, he seemed invincible. When I first saw the guy I predicted him to die within a couple years. But the years went on and Steve just kept on living, never once getting maimed by a crocodile (the most likely scenario for his demise).
Of all things, I would never think Steve Irwin would be murdered by a stingray. I've pet those things at the zoo! They just swim around in circles and let kids pet them. Try that with a croc!
It is reported that stingrays kill 1-2 people worldwide each year! That's all! That's insane and it's a fitting way for Steve to pass.
It makes me wonder exactly what he did to piss the creature off so much. But we can rest assured he did something stupid! And that was Steve and he will be missed.
The world of crazy animal antics will never be the same. Sure, Jeff Corwin and others are still alive but they just don't seem to have the same level of insanity that Steve had. And that's why he was so great.
USA Wins Gold For Jam Session
Many people consider the USA's bronze medal finish at this year's World Championships a disappointment. But what people must remember is that we won the gold in slam dunking...hands down!
Greece may have beaten the USA 101-95 because they shot better, passed more frequently and played better defense. But did Greece outdunk the USA? I don't think so! That would be like saying that the tortoise is faster than the hare.
The USA put on a masterful dunk contest during their loss to Greece. Dwayne Wade, Lebron James and Carmello Anthony may have cost the USA the game by shooting poorly from the free throw line, but their dunking clinic was simply amazing.
And it didn't stop until the bitter end, with the game out of hand Lebron slammed a thunderous dunk in Greece's face. "Take that!" he said. "They may have won the game but we tore them a new asshole in the dunk contest."
Carmello Anthony remarked "Anyone who says this is a team sport is full of crap. We are competing against each other out there. I don't want to get outdunked by Dwayne Wade." Carmello contributed the team's dunk victory to their supreme athleticism along with the fact that they were practicing dunks prior to the game rather than free three throws.
"Unlike us, Greece was practicing free throws before the game" Dwayne Wade said. "We would have won the dunking gold regardless but that didn't help them any."
The USA went on to defeat Argentina in both dunking and the actual game, giving them the bronze medal. Spain defeated Greece to become the new World Champions of the "game" of basketball, for whatever that's worth.
Greece celebrates less important victory over USA
Agassi Resurrected to Play Final US Open
The crowds went crazy for Andre Agassi at his final US Open. This despite the fact that the man looked more like Casper the Friendly Ghost rather than the human tennis dynamo we grew up watching.
But somehow his bald frail body was able to get by two opponents and into the 3rd round. How the old timer was able to get through 5 sets against the number 8 player in the world is beyond me.
But luckily for the gift of cortisone shots in his back we were able to see this legend compete one final time. And while his opponents actually looked human, Agassi certainly played like he was alive.
The man has ended his career at the ripe old age of 36. 21 years of tennis, it was so long ago that we saw him as a teenager with wild long hair, then with less hair and a goatee, and finally ending with an alien like pale bald look. I'd like to remember the champ looking more alive however.
The Glory Days When Agassi Had Hair and Looked Human
