Alex in the USA

2006-11-03T14:36:00.000-05:00

Kerry's Comment Dumb But Taken Out of Context

John Kerry's statement that "You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq" was stupid but taken out of context.

The reference was that Bush is stupid, not the troops. He was supposed to say that if you don't study you get "us" stuck in Iraq. It was a bad joke regardless but stupid that he got it wrong.

The joke really fired up Bush who was campaigning in Georgia, so much so that the ignorant people attending actually cheered when Bush said "We weren't in Iraq when 9/11 occurred and 3,000 people died." Clearly Bush supporters have no clue what they are cheering for, maybe they just see the applause light and go nuts. Sort of like Pavlovian dogs or something.

2006-10-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

George Would Have Supported Decriminalization

2006-09-27T21:00:00.000-05:00

DUI Shouldn't Hurt Paris Hilton's Image

Paris Hilton's publicist recently said that the actress, singer, model, shopper and party prancer's image will not be hurt by the DUI she received earlier this month. This is good news for someone who has made a name for themselves through a sex tape and making a habit of looking and acting as slutty as possible.

Some say the DUI might actually help her image. It reinforces the fact that she truly is a party girl, something she is very famous for. Perhaps in the long run it might actually have hurt her image if she did not get a DUI. People might think do we know this girl? Does she really party that much? Is she really such a slut or is this all some Hollywood facade?

2006-09-27T01:20:00.000-05:00

Peyton Manning Doing Every Dumb Commercial on TV

Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts is very talented, especially when the games don't count so much. When they do, he melts like a Tulip on a hot summer day. But despite having won only 1 playoff game, this has not stopped the ongoing love affair between Peyton Manning and his sponsors.

And there is a common theme with all of Peyton's adds. They really suck ass. Whether he is asking grocery clerks to sign his bread or sporting a 70's pornstar moustache as he whores a cell phone there is one commonality: They all really blow.

Manning is also very full of himself for someone who has won only 1 playoff game. My favorite Peyton Manning moment was in college when he played for the University of Tennessee and could be seen crying on the sideline after being thumped by Florida in a big game. So there are 2 certainties regarding Manning: He will continue to lose big games and compensate for that by doing arrogant and ridiculous adds. Why don't more people hate this guy?

2006-09-25T16:08:00.000-05:00

Monday Night Football To Be Held in Former Shelter

Tonight football comes back to New Orleans as the city's beloved Saints host the Atlanta Falcons. Both teams enter the contest 2-0 and hope to stay unbeaten in an important divisional game.

But this game transcends the sport as it means so much to the people and city of New Orleans. The last time we saw the Superdome on TV we saw a chaotic mess of stranded minorities outside and others trying to swim to the city's sports Mecca.

But tonight will be much different as the exciting Falcons-Saints game will take place there. This will mark the Superdome's first nationally televised event since it served as a hurricane shelter. Hopefully, tonight will go better for New Orleans.

The city faces an uphill battle tonight against a team with a tough running game and stellar defense. Perhaps not as tough a challenge as Katrina, the Falcons are still a very imposing threat. The Saints must stop Michael Vick and produce offense of their own to enjoy success this evening. Success that did not come at least year's nationally televised event.

2006-09-21T15:38:00.000-05:00

Pope Looks Like Evil Emperor From Star Wars

Pope Benedict XVI, or "The Rat" as I like to call him (His real name is John Ratzinger) has been in power for about a year and a half now. He came to the throne of the Catholic Church following the shocking death of the previous drooling Papalness John Paul II.

Pope Benedict XVI is from Germany and was criticized for being part of a Nazi youth camp as a boy (it was a great step toward the papacy back in those days). He has also recently come under fire for quoting a previous Pope who called Islam evil and violent. This surprisingly led to some violence in the Middle East.

But the thing that has struck me most about His Holiness is his striking resemblance to the Evil Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. Did Cardinal Ratzinger have a secret acting career we are not aware of? Is he in fact a living and breathing Dark Sith Lord? Is he building a Death Star to destroy Earth? I don't know but I do know one thing...I smell a Rat.

2006-09-18T17:07:00.000-05:00

It's Illegal?

Like many people, I enjoy dropping some online action for shits and giggles. Thing is, it's illegal! Gambling on sports is only legal in the state of Nevada. So everytime I log onto Sportsbetting and place a small wager on the evenings action, I am committing a crime.

Thing is, even though it is illegal, my credit card company allows me to use it on online gaming sites. These sights are run overseas, many in the UK, so they are not subjected to US laws.

For years the government has turned a blind eye to online gaming. Had they "legalized" this 4 years ago it is estimated they would have collected 1.5 billion in tax revenue. Granted, that only pays for a few days in Iraq but I'd say our treasury can use all the help it can get!

So I say as Bob Marley sang, Legalize It. Either that or stop allowing credit card companies to participate in these "illegal activities." But hey, this Congress hasn't been coined the "Do Nothing Congress for nothing!

2006-09-12T17:30:00.000-05:00

NFL Season Kicks off With Glorious Start

The 2006 NFL season began beautifully for the defending Super Bowl champion Steelers. Without starting quarterback Dolphins and a great value. I sure enjoyed winning that contest and I know they did too.

Festivities filled the first Sunday of the season with compelling matchups like Peyton Manning vs. Eli Manning. It was the first time two brothers were pitted against one another at starting quarterback. This was an easy pick, you have to go with the older brother. It is he who played titty twister and did the intimidating.

It was also a great opening weekend for road teams like the Ravens, Chargers and Bears who all pitched shutouts. I wasn't certain of the Ravens dominance against a tough Bucs team in the Florida heat so I avoided any action on that contest.

But the Chargers a mere 3 point favorite against a terrible Raiders team was a great bargain. I kicked back with a few beers and enjoyed the very predictable thumping the Raiders received, and most enjoyed my win.

There was one big disappointment opening weekend and that was Minnesota's surprise win against the Redskins. The Vikings were not a good road team last year and the Redskins are loaded at the skilled positions. The Vikings surprised everyone defeating both the Redskins and myself.

But you know what they say, you can't win them all. You just hope your team and your wallet win most of them. And with a little research and good gut instinct this will be a successful season for many. It's just great to have America's favorite game back!

2006-09-06T15:20:00.000-05:00

Steve Irwin Murdered By Stingray

For years Steve Irwin, "The Crocodile Hunter" entertained viewers with his crazy animal antics. Whether he was wrestling crocs or toying with snakes, one thing was certain-he was doing something he loved and whatever that was it was insane.

Steve never ceased to stop entertaining us with his insanity. If you tuned into "The Crocodile Hunter" you were guaranteed to see him doing something ludicrous. When he dangled his baby in front of a crocodile he drew global criticism and ridicule. But it was just Steve being Steve and that was acting insane.

Steve will forever be a reminder that insane people are entertaining. After all, who wants to see someone handle dangerous animals in a safe and sane way? Not me. That's boring!

Despite Steve's seemingly suicidal lifestyle, he seemed invincible. When I first saw the guy I predicted him to die within a couple years. But the years went on and Steve just kept on living, never once getting maimed by a crocodile (the most likely scenario for his demise).

Of all things, I would never think Steve Irwin would be murdered by a stingray. I've pet those things at the zoo! They just swim around in circles and let kids pet them. Try that with a croc!

It is reported that stingrays kill 1-2 people worldwide each year! That's all! That's insane and it's a fitting way for Steve to pass.

It makes me wonder exactly what he did to piss the creature off so much. But we can rest assured he did something stupid! And that was Steve and he will be missed.

The world of crazy animal antics will never be the same. Sure, Jeff Corwin and others are still alive but they just don't seem to have the same level of insanity that Steve had. And that's why he was so great.

2006-09-05T19:29:00.000-05:00

USA Wins Gold For Jam Session

Many people consider the USA's bronze medal finish at this year's World Championships a disappointment. But what people must remember is that we won the gold in slam dunking...hands down!

Greece may have beaten the USA 101-95 because they shot better, passed more frequently and played better defense. But did Greece outdunk the USA? I don't think so! That would be like saying that the tortoise is faster than the hare.

The USA put on a masterful dunk contest during their loss to Greece. Dwayne Wade, Lebron James and Carmello Anthony may have cost the USA the game by shooting poorly from the free throw line, but their dunking clinic was simply amazing.

And it didn't stop until the bitter end, with the game out of hand Lebron slammed a thunderous dunk in Greece's face. "Take that!" he said. "They may have won the game but we tore them a new asshole in the dunk contest."

Carmello Anthony remarked "Anyone who says this is a team sport is full of crap. We are competing against each other out there. I don't want to get outdunked by Dwayne Wade." Carmello contributed the team's dunk victory to their supreme athleticism along with the fact that they were practicing dunks prior to the game rather than free three throws.

"Unlike us, Greece was practicing free throws before the game" Dwayne Wade said. "We would have won the dunking gold regardless but that didn't help them any."

The USA went on to defeat Argentina in both dunking and the actual game, giving them the bronze medal. Spain defeated Greece to become the new World Champions of the "game" of basketball, for whatever that's worth.

Greece celebrates less important victory over USA

2006-09-04T17:49:00.000-05:00

Agassi Resurrected to Play Final US Open

The crowds went crazy for Andre Agassi at his final US Open. This despite the fact that the man looked more like Casper the Friendly Ghost rather than the human tennis dynamo we grew up watching.

But somehow his bald frail body was able to get by two opponents and into the 3rd round. How the old timer was able to get through 5 sets against the number 8 player in the world is beyond me.

But luckily for the gift of cortisone shots in his back we were able to see this legend compete one final time. And while his opponents actually looked human, Agassi certainly played like he was alive.

The man has ended his career at the ripe old age of 36. 21 years of tennis, it was so long ago that we saw him as a teenager with wild long hair, then with less hair and a goatee, and finally ending with an alien like pale bald look. I'd like to remember the champ looking more alive however.

The Glory Days When Agassi Had Hair and Looked Human

2006-08-31T14:34:00.000-05:00

Bush Commemorates 1 Year Since Katrina

It was one year ago that Hurricane Katrina rocked the Gulf Coast. Shortly after the hurricane hit, President Bush asked that his flight from Crawford, Texas to Washington go via New Orleans to survey the damage. From Air Force One the President was able to gain a poignant perspective of exactly what was transpiring on the ground.

Through his insightful aerial analysis, Bush was able to make critical decisions regarding the evacuations of stranded Katrina victims. "It was a bit difficult to see them" Bush said, "But I knew there were a few stuck down there. I phoned up Brownie and said something needed getting done."

Through careful coordination, total chaos and disaster was narrowly avoided. "It was a job well done" Bush stated. "I owe lots to the Air Force One pilot that allowed me such an extensive surveillance of the destruction."

So on the one year anniversary of Katrina, it was only fitting that Bush celebrate another mission accomplished with a repeat flight over the area. "I wanted to get a good feel for what's going on one year later. That's why I asked to be flown over the region again. I know more needs getting done and we'll do it."

On the white house lawn one reporter asked about the future of New Orleans. "It looks bright. That Reggie Bush fellow is going to bring a lot of explosiveness to the Saints offense" Bush said with a chuckle.

2006-08-24T21:31:00.000-05:00

Make Up Your Mind On Number of Planets Damnit!

For as long as I can remember there were 9 planets, it seemed as set in stone as the Ten Commandments. It's what I learned in school and what I've always known. Then last week they tell me there are 12 planets and I think wow, we got 3 more! That's exciting!

Then just a week later the scientists vote again and tell us we lost 4 planets! Now there are 8 planets and Pluto and the other iceballs will be known as "dwarf planets."

Come on guys, get it straight! Don't jerk us around like this.

I feel for the science teachers and students. Imagine last week when all the science teachers got super excited about this and bombarded their students with a fascinating new classification of planets. And now they have to tell their students to cross out their textbooks again and re-do their assignments. The kids are pissed and confused and it makes them think their teacher is retarded.

2006-08-22T17:16:00.000-05:00

Iran Willing to Give Up Nuclear Program When They Face Legitimate Threat

Now that the Israeli-Lebanon war has substantially lessened, the international community is once again focused on Iran. While Bush would love to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities he knows his hands are tied. If we were to do so we would face more scrutiny from other nations and destabilize the middle east more than it already is.

This is compounded with the fact that we are bogged down in Iraq (a nation that was much less powerful than Iran currently is when we invaded them). Also, the US was a huge loser in the Israeli-Lebanon war because of our support for Israel while at the same time trying to stabilize Iraq. In reality, Israel really screwed the US over on that one.

Iran had been sitting with a good hand prior to Israel's invasion of Lebanon. But now they are holding two aces and the stakes are too great for anyone to take military action against them. Iran has been the biggest winner in all this and they will continue business as usual until they face a legitimate threat, which they currently don't. What they currently face is a lot of barking with no potential bite.

2006-08-22T16:50:00.000-05:00

John Karr Enjoys Business Class From Thailand

After John Karr admitted that he killed JonBenet Ramsey he was arrested in Thailand and flown back to the US, in comfortable business class of course.

It was reported that he enjoyed champagne and shrimp on this flight. This whole saga leads me to ask a few questions here.

1)Would the media still care about the JonBenet Ramsey case had she not been such a cute girl? Hmm...No.

2) Why does a murdering pedophile get to enjoy business class? I've never gotten to fly it and I've flown lots! It doesn't seem fair to the legitimate business class passengers as I have a feeling it wasn't as much an enjoyable experience for them. Shouldn't the economy passengers have been subjected to this guys presence? After all, they paid way less to fly!

2006-08-17T21:58:00.000-05:00

Owens Looks to Win 9th Straight Tour De France for USA

After a tumultuous season with Philadelphia ended in Terrell Owens release, he returned to football with the Dallas Cowboys. But always with a trick up his sleeve he surprised us once again, deciding to skip Cowboys practice for two weeks while training for next year's Tour De France.

It turns out Owens isn't as selfish as everyone had previously thought. After the allegations against defending champ Floyd Landis and the possibility that he may be banned from cycling, someone had to step in and give the USA hope for 9 in a row. That's when Owens decided that a career change was necessary for the good of our nation. It is reminiscent of when Pat Tillman left the Arizona Cardinals to fight with the US Army in Afghanistan.

Owens is also behaving more patriotic than Floyd Landis, who raced for team Phonak, a Swiss cycling team. Owens showed the world at Cowboys camp what team he will be racing for...Team USA...Team Discovery Channel.

Owens is a dominant receiver and should easily make the transition to long distance bicycle racing and beating scrawny white Europeans. He is also releasing his own brand of popcorn that will be available for purchase in next years French event. Many cyclists will race but Owens will stand out as the sole black participant wearing a French beret.

2006-08-16T16:51:00.000-05:00

3,438 Iraqi Deaths in July Not Considered Civil War

The NY Times has reported that 3,438 Iraqi civilians were killed in July due to Sectarian violence between Sunnis and Shiites. This is the deadliest month since the US invaded in March 2003.

President Bush and many in Congress dismiss these figures as a civil war and vow to "stay the course." What course? We have been there over 3 years and the country has held democratic elections. The results: Massive deaths amongst civilians. What exactly can we accomplish? Destroy the insurgency? It seems the entire nation has erupted into an insurgency.

What can our involvement do? Maybe we can continue to play "whack em' all" as Senator John McCain said. This means destroying pockets of insurgents in cities only to see them pop up elsewhere, forcing us to do it all over again. This means we cannot pass Go and collect our $200.

We have wasted so much money and sacrificed so many US and Iraqi lives only to see things spiral out of control. "Staying the course" doesn't seem like a good idea when a nation is involved in a civil war.

2006-08-16T16:01:00.000-05:00

Israel Planning to Remain in Lebanon Until They Feel Like It

Israel announced today they will remain in southern Lebanon until they feel like it. Actually, they said they will remain there until the UN multinational force arrives but this is translation for "until we feel like it."

And Israel can do this because they have all the military might. Especially, when it comes to attacking an opponent much weaker then them. Both the US and Israel have constantly blamed Syria and Iran for backing Hezbollah and yet no military action has been taken against them. The reason: they are both too powerful and do actually have the weaponry to inflict serious damage to Israel. The damage Hezbollah inflicted on Israel is peanuts compared to what Syria and Iran could do if confronted.

But a "cease fire" has arrived after Israel has set Lebanon back to where they were when they had previously invaded them. Bridges, roads and key infrastructure all over the nation has been destroyed and it will take years to recover.

And hopefully this cease fire will hold up. The UN ambassador of Israel Dan Gillerman said this cease fire is "Lebanon's last chance." What does that mean? Will Israel just nuke Beirut otherwise? His cold and firm demeanor showed he would probably like to.

So now the UN is scrambling to create a peacekeeping force for southern Lebanon. As far as Israel is concerned they can take their time, they will stay until they feel like it, just like last time.

2006-08-11T16:27:00.000-05:00

French Tired of Americans Winning Bicycle Race

For the 8th straight year an American won the Tour De France. And now the French are screaming foul play. Wine, wine, wine...They love their wine in France. I say less wine and more effort and maybe someday soon one of their own can win their coveted bicycle race.

Lance Armstrong dominated, winning 7 consecutive Tour De France's despite having only one testicle. The French were glad to see him go and despite never testing positive in a drug test the French still accused Lance of cheating. Sacre Bleu! Sounds like there are some sour grapes on the vine over there.

So with Lance gone the French thought they were in the clear. No American could possibly win their cherished bicycle race again. But one did! And not just any American but an American raised by Menenite parents. These people don't even have TV's let alone know what steroids are!

So ok, unlike Lance, Floyd Landis tested "positive" for unnaturally high levels of testosterone after blowing away the field in stage 17. Landis has many explanations for this, one of them is that his body naturally produces high levels of testosterone. I can buy that, he is an American after all!

Another explanation is that there is a conspiracy involving the French testing agency Chatenay-Malabry. If the other explanations don't explain the results then I believe this one. Why is a French agency doing the testing anyways? That already seems a bit fishy to me. Why don't they let someone neutral do the testing? Perhaps the Netherlands. They know a thing or two about drugs over there.

So for the moment Landis is no longer considered the winner of the long bicycle race. But he is a fighter and will continue the grueling battle in American and International courts. He has many explanations and surely one of them will prove to be true.

2006-07-29T20:12:00.000-05:00

A Nation Gone Tip Crazy

Ok, so tipping is nothing new here in the US but it appears tip jars are growing like wildfire. For a long time restaurants have been substantially underpaying servers to where this "tip culture" has been ingrained into US society. It is our job, not the employers to compensate for the fact that servers make just over $2 an hour. I was a server at Bennigan's for 1 and 1/2 years and when I told foreign friends what my hourly wage was they were shocked with disbelief.

Foreigners get a bad rap for not tipping but it isn't because they view servers as slaves or because they're cheap bastards but because servers and bus boys in their countries actually make a living wage. I was a bus boy at a TGI Friday's in Melbourne, Australia and actually made $10US an hour. The exact same job in the US will pay about $3.50 an hour plus 3% of a pool of the servers sales for the night (This does not equate to $10 per hour in an average restaurant). Many people don't realize this and some restaurants are finally coming around to suggesting 18% tips, but not all. And even if you tip a server 18%, if there is a bus boy involved you are really only tipping them 15%.

So if the service is good I tip 20-25% because I know how it is. Even if the service is mediocre or poor I tip 15% because I feel obligated. The service has to be pretty atrocious for me to leave less and I know I am not alone here. It shouldn't be like this because the acronym tip stands for "To Improve Promptness" and I can tell you now too many people tip 15% on mediocre service.

But I believe things have gone too far with the tip jars in cafes, sandwich shops, pizza places, etc. Am I alone to think Starbucks can afford to pay their mocha makers a little more so they don't have to put that obligating tip jar on the counter? Starbucks should be happy that they already get cheap labor from their coffee growers worldwide. I know Starbucks employees make more than servers but I also know it's not a livable wage and it should be.

I'm tired of feeling obligated to toss money in the tip jar so I've decided to end that logic. Someone told me a good rule of thumb about tipping-if someone doesn't have to clean up after you in a restaurant/cafe, you shouldn't tip them. I agree. I feel bad but there has to be a line drawn here. Otherwise, before we know it there will be tip jars at retail stores and gas stations-it seems headed in that direction!

We already have to pay server/bartender wages (that's just ingrained in capitalist American culture and will never change) and we also have to pay tips to pizza drivers-this is a must by the way! Especially with the exhorbitant cost of fuel-if you are too cheap to pay for gas to get your pizza yourself and tip the driver $1 or stiff him you are an asshole, plain and simple. I delivered pizza when gas was cheap and I feel bad for the drivers now because I can guarantee that tips haven't skyrocketed like gas prices have. Delivering pizza not only burns gas but you have to have your oil, tires, brakes, etc. changed more frequently than the average driver, plus other additional wear and tear on the vehicle. It doesn't matter if your order is only $10, when you take into account that a person is driving food to your home because you are too lazy to get it yourself you should tip them $5, that should be standard even on low priced orders. In fact, these are probably the only workers we should really have to supplement because the restaurant is providing an additional service that is over and above what they should have to pay for.

Another person I don't like tipping is the statue who opens your beer bottle and takes your $5 at the club, it's ridiculous but I feel obligated because it is expected. What I try to do is order 2 beers at a time and tip $1 for both. Fifty cents per beer bottle opened isn't bad as it's neither time consuming nor strenuous. Why should a bartender who makes you a long island ice tea get the same tip as a person who cracks a beer open?

So I have decided to tip with better reason and boycott all tip jars. If there is a tip jar they don't deserve a tip! It is their job to make your pizza, sandwich, ring you up, take your money to get into the club, etc. This country's employers should have a moral obligation to pay older employees a livable wage-If other western countries can do this I damn well know we can too!

2006-07-26T14:15:00.000-05:00

Democrats and Republicans United on Israeli Bias

During recent years we have had an increased rift between Republicans and Democrats that has caused an increased polarization in the country. The disagreements have varied from fiscal irresponsibility by Republican leadership, supreme court nominations, abortion issues and the war in Iraq. But the parties are now united in their bias of Israel and the terrorist attacks they have undertaken in Lebanon. Have we become the United States of Israel? It seems as though it is political suicide for any politician to say anything negative about Israel.

The politicians constantly note Hezbollah attacks on Israel and call them terrorist attacks. These are not terrorist attacks that Hezbollah is undertaking, it is retaliation for disproportionate attacks on Lebanon. This is war. Just as Israel has the right to defend it's sovereign boundaries so does Lebanon. The kidnapping of two Israeli soldiers by Hezbollah was not justification for Israel to continually bomb Beirut. Hezbollah has a negative reputation for being a terrorist group but they also serve as part of Lebanon's military force. Many educated university students in Lebanon support Hezbollah because they are part of their defense forces. So is Hezbollah expected to stand idle as Israel destroys Lebanon?

This week Prime Minister Maliki of Iraq met with President Bush to discuss issues pertaining to Iraq. Maliki recently condemned Israel's attacks on Lebanon and US politicians have been united in their outrage. They believe that Maliki, like themselves, should have the same Israeli bias they have. US politicians note that "moderate" Arab nations like Egypt and Saudi Arabia have condemned Hezbollah and support Israel's response against Lebanon. First off, Egypt is not a moderate Arab country as their democracy is a farce and obviously Saudi Arabia is far from moderate. The reason the leaders of these nations support Israel is because instability in the Middle East creates a threat to their oppressive regimes. Egypt recently created a mirage democracy to curb the threat of unrest within their borders. The House of Saud has similarly loosened their autocratic rule because of the threat of a revolution. The fact that we support the leaderships in Egypt and Saudi Arabia is a farce unto its own.

As Maliki was in Washington to meet with Bush, 3 high ranking democrats carried out a press conference to biasly support Israel and condemn Maliki for his comments. These democrats were Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, Chuck Schumer and Dick Durbin. They said that Maliki owes the US to be on our side (the one-sided side of Israel) and insinuated that he must not care so much about terrorism. Are you kidding me? He is the Prime Minister of a country in chaos! Maliki would love to stop the suicide bombings in Iraq and currently it isn't exactly safe for any politician in that country. These democrats also went so far as to say that Maliki owes us his position (yes we did topple Saddam) but because we have sacrificed American lives and money he should be in support of Israel. Are you kidding me? When did Israel become part of the US? Did I miss that? Was I hibernating or something?

As the new sovereign leader of Iraq, Maliki has the right to express his own views and not be subject to censorship by the US. Didn't we create a "democracy" over there? If not, what was the point of all this? Oh yeah, the point was to create a puppet regime of the US in an oil rich region. Unfortunately for Bush, this like many other things in Iraq have not panned out.

But shame on Republicans and Democrats alike for their inability to unite on real issues for the whole of America-like the budget deficit and the escalating costs of health care, yet they can unite on the green light of Israel's destruction of Lebanon. Who's running this country anyways? Do we need to add the Star of David to our Stars and Stripes?

2006-07-17T20:17:00.000-05:00

Terror and Bullying By Israel

I have become a little tired of hearing the word "terrorist" to only describe groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. What Israel is currently doing to Lebanon is a massive display of unnecessary terror. Sure, Israel has a right to defend it's sovereignty but the acts they have carried out against Palestine and now Lebanon are acts of terror aimed at destroying infrastructure and toppling democratic regimes they do not agree with.

This disgusting bombing campaign by Israel began because Hezbollah kidnapped 2 Israeli soldiers and wanted to use them as leverage to negotiate the release of Lebanese prisoners. Somehow, Israeli madman Prime Minister Ehud Olmert decided that the proper recourse was to immediately bomb the airport in Beirut, bridges, ports and other key elements of Lebanese infrastructure.

After engaging in this disproportionate act of terror, Israel demanded the release of their 2 captives and ordered Hezbollah to disarm. This is like the school yard bully with all the fancy toys asking the crazy kid with a sling shot to drop it. And this is after the school yard bully has destroyed his bicycle, ripped his clothes and punched him in the face. What do you think the crazy kid is going to do?...(insert Jeopardy music here) He's going to fire that slingshot and he's going to fire as many rounds as possible before being pummeled to the ground.

But like many bullies, Israel wanted to flex it's muscle and show the devastation it can create with the weapons the USA has given them. These weapons are much more sophisticated and effective then the ones Hezbollah is equipped with. Because of this we often confuse or are misled to think that guerilla warfare is terrorism. We don't call the Israeli's terrorists in this conflict, only Hezbollah and Hamas. Even though Israel has also bombed government buildings in Palestine in recent days. And it's critical to note that for every Israeli killed by a member of Hamas or Hezbollah the Israeli's kill roughly 10 in return.

Israel has so much power that they even influenced what President Bush had to say! The first day he called upon Israel to use restraint in their bombing campaign. The next day his tone changed and he called for Hezbollah to disarm and withdrew his statement for Israel to restrain. And Bush isn't usually a "flip flopper!" He usually sticks with that gut of his that makes decisions.

As this conflict escalates, it continues to disturb me what is transpiring. Day by day Israel is destroying more and more of Lebanon and day by day Hezbollah is retaliating in what they now call "an all out war." This war was started by a bully and could wind up with the whole school yard involved.

2006-07-05T05:57:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday America!

Happy 230th birthday USA! Congratulations on this amazing accomplishment! It seems like yesterday that everyone was wearing wigs and debating secession from mighty Britain. And thanks to some great American heroes, here we are, all independent and on our own for 230 strong and counting!

I apologize for my birthday greeting being a day late but I was out celebrating with other proud Americans. And my wife who is not American, but that's ok, I forgive her. We did what most upstanding Americans and soon to be Americans do on this great day-we went to a local watering hole, wet our whistles and watched fireworks. There's nothing like a few beers and a night sky filled with explosions to make you feel all is right in the world.

I ended the evening with a patriotic viewing of the classic film "Platoon" starring the wonderful Charlie Sheen in 1967 Vietnam. It's an excellent reminder of the sacrifices we have made to get where we are now. I mean, for Americans within their own Platoon to purposely kill one another while fighting to protect our freedom, democracy and capitalism is just special. It's good to watch movies like this when we begin to question why we are in Iraq. We're fighting for 230 years of independent goodness-nuff said.

The above pictures were taken last month in Boston, where it all began and where I could not help but salute some of the great men who have made all this possible-Samuel Adams and Paul Revere. The statue of Sam Adams lies in Haymarket square with his arms crossed and a look that says "bring it." While Paul Revere's house can be found further down the Freedom Trail.

Sam Adams was instrumental in the Boston Tea Party where he led a group of costume toting protestors in dumping haughty British tea into the ocean. The men were protesting "taxation without representation" by the British government and by turning the northeast Atlantic into a cold blend of Earl Grey the upstart Americans also said "I don't think so." For Sam's efforts Boston's finest Lager has been named for him.

The dumping of the tea did not come without a price however. It really grinded King George III's gears and the "Intolerable Acts" were subsequently passed which aimed to revoke the charter of Massachusetts. The lines had been drawn and the British army sought revenge. Paul Revere took a gallant 19 mile horse ride from Boston to Lexington and Concord to warn the local militias that the British were coming. Thanks to him they had a bit of time to sober up before the battle that lied ahead. The Americans won the battle of Lexington and Concord and eventually the war-in England's defense they were fighting on the road, always tough.

Unfortunately, Revere was not bestowed the honor of having a fine beer named for him and is simply relegated to being read about in middle school textbooks. His famous line "The British are coming!" can still be heard all over Florida today. They still come but now as visitors to the rebellious independent child who parted ways 230 years ago. Now the Brits come to soak up the sun and can only bully servers in restaurants by demanding malt vinegar for fries and mustard for steaks, then leaving 10%.

It has been a wonderful 230 America and it has been a pleasure to watch you grow so big and strong. And what do you know, like any good child-parent relationship we have maintained a friendship with England and continue to be on each other's side. We may be independent but we sure do appreciate the help. And if it wasn't for you raising us this wonderful birthday celebration would not be possible. So thanks to the Brits for showing past tough love and giving us military assistance and sending us sun burnt tourists for extra spending money. Thanks guys and again happy 230 USA!

2006-06-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

Big Business Keeps on Rolling

The symbol of the American dream...NYC and the NY Stock Exchange. As Austin Powers would say "Yay capitalism!" And in case you had forgotten whose stock exchange this is, there is that subtle little reminder hanging from it's marble columns.

The NYSE has bounced back big time over the last few years, now trading at around 11,000 shares. To some this is an indicator that the US economy is doing well. And for some it is doing much more than well, it is doing phenomenal!

Perhaps the true American dream is no longer the one where someone starts out with a few bucks in their wallet, works hard and eventually creates their own prosperous business. Perhaps the new American dream is the one where you are born into wealth, become a CEO and progress from a millionaire to a billionaire. Perhaps it is typified by Wal-Mart stomping out Ma and Pa because it's not so easy for them to "roll back prices" with a big yellow smiley face.

In fact, when I think of Wal-Mart and "rolling back prices" I also like to think of the other things they are rolling back, like employee benefits and American manufacturing jobs. Wal-Mart takes a lot of heat for this but it has become very commonplace in today's business world.

Many companies no longer offer pensions, decent health benefits and adequate pay. The Bush administration has not only taken a "laissez-faire" or hands off approach to big business, they have also taken a smiley faced "hands in" approach as well.

The Bush-Cheney regime have been as opportunistic as any in recent memory turning disasters like Iraq and New Orleans into giant profits for big construction companies like Halliburton (where Cheney was the former CEO). And by outsourcing more American jobs to cheaper labor and taking a blind eye to illegal immigration they have decreased demand for the American worker. And the demand that is there is at a lower wage. It's a very simple supply-demand equation.

A few days ago Congress decided to reject a bill that would raise the federal minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.25 (one that poor people could sort of live on). Instead, the republican led Congress rejected it, citing it would hurt small business. In all fairness it could hurt some businesses but there is a solution to this problem. Australia has a minimum wage scale that varies depending on age. It makes sense, if your 16 and 17 and living at home, you don't need as much as someone who is 21 and trying to pay bills. They also require some businesses like McDonald's to hire a certain number of older employees and not rely solely on cheap high school labor (otherwise it would cut a certain segment out of the job market). It works great in Australia and makes total sense yet it is not even put on the table here.

The Bush administration has not only turned a blind eye to the poor and working class but also the middle class. It is well documented that the discrepancy in wealth continues to grow as we now have a record number of billionaires in this country.

But be content that while everyone pays exorbitant gas prices, the CEO of Exxon-Mobile was able to retire with a 400 million dollar retirement package. Sweet deal! And these kind of parting gifts don't come cheap as we have all seen first hand at the pump.

Bush has a simple vision-if your rich you need a tax cut to re-invest more of your wealth into the economy so it grows into more wealth, mostly for you with some crumbs left over for the rest. And aside from tax cuts you need more incentives like not having to pay health benefits to your workers.

If Bush wasn't doing everything he is doing now how else would our budget deficit increase atrociously? Our currency devaluate substantially? And our middle class diminish one health plan removed at a time? And all the while our stock market looks solid and Bush can claim economic growth.

So go ahead and hang the stars and stripes proud NYSE. Your CEO George Bush has done one heck of a job for you. I think he deserves a raise and a hefty parting gift! Yay capitalism!

2006-06-22T23:22:00.000-05:00

My Salute to Stephen Colbert

While we were lucky to get seats for David Letterman we could not get seats for my favorite late night show with Stephen Colbert. Despite this, I just had to make my way down to Colbert's studio and check out the surroundings. It's not nearly as big or fancy as Letterman and it's not on Broadway...no shock there.

I was pleasantly surprised when this show began in October 2005 because the idea was very similar to the All-American album I had created. The premise of the hardcover album is a pro-Bush American traveling around the world supporting ideas similar to his (basically being ignorant). This is portrayed through many ridiculous pictures from Australia to Vietnam with captions very befitting for Bush and anyone who supports him.

I love Colbert's idiotic puns on Bush, Fox News and the current state of American affairs. Colbert has a history degree from Dartmouth and while I was not so lucky as to attend an ivy league school I too have a history degree. I also minored in political science and love being a jackass so I totally relate to the guy.

So Cheers to you Colbert! Your fake news is as real as Fox's "real" news! And if you think Fox's news is real...I'm sorry :-).

2006-06-20T21:10:00.000-05:00

A Journey to Letterman and the Hello Deli

These pictures were taken June 8th on a recent trip to New York. While there we were lucky to score Letterman seats the day of the show! Unfortunately, you cannot take pictures inside the Ed Sullivan theatre but on the right is Rupert G who owns the Hello Deli located around the corner from The Late Show. For years, Rupert and the Hello Deli have been a regular piece on the show and I told my wife that morning that I wanted to pay him a visit on our way to Times Square.

After telling my wife about this I leave to shower and just when I return I hear her excitedly say "He Owns the Hello Deli!" Bellinda had managed to get through the phone lines for seats to Letterman and the question they asked was "What does Rupert G have to do with the show?" Unbelievable! Since she doesn't watch the show it's the only question she could have answered! It was an amazing stroke of luck on all accounts!

So the Letterman people tell us to be there at 3:30pm sharp (the show is taped from 4:30-5:30pm) but we got to the area earlier to pay the Hello Deli a visit as we had previously intended. When we walked to the small Deli entrance there were a few people standing in line and the guys in front were posing for pictures with Rupert. I'm not sure what they bought but one guy commented that Rupert needed a bigger deli. Rupert acted just like he does on the show, replying with a goofy and kinda uncomfortable "I know."

Rupert mans the register as he has become as big a celebrity as a deli owner gets. He has a few staff members that make sandwiches and as I approached the front of the line he calls out "2 Lettermans" and places two pastrami looking sandwiches on the counter. I momentarily pause when it's my turn in line and a rude New Yorker brushes past me and gruffly says "1 large coffee!" to Rupert. Rupert gets him his coffee, the man pays him and he leaves without a thankyou. I thought it was funny that just a few seconds before Mr. Coffee treated Rupert like garbage, people were embracing him for pictures. And there I was, coming to do the same thing. What a weird world this guy lives in! One minute he is a celebrity with people paying $17 for a shirt with his picture on it and the next he is some ordinary shmuck fetching coffee for a rude asshole. Incidentily, I was one of those guys who shelled out $17 for his shirt so maybe that makes me the shmuck here.

We only barely got into Letterman, we were the 15th and 16th spots and they only let 18 standbys in. Bellinda was not told we were standbys when she was congratulated on the phone and given a time to come to the studio. Suffice to say we had bad seats, last row in the upper deck. They weren't the regular stadium seating everyone else had, they were regular chairs behind the upper deck cameras. I felt like we were 2nd class guests. But considering there were 40 people on standby we were just happy to be there. Especially considering tickets to Dave are free and we did not want to pay a few hundred dollars to see some random Broadway show.

Dave isn't a very personable guy in real life, he came out and talked to the audience for about 3 minutes before the show and then left immediately after the show ended. Between guests he was surrounded by his staff preparing for the next skit. One of the guests, Jeremy Piven (the actor who played the Dean in Old School) was complaining about how Dave had twice bumped him previously for other guests and how he'd flown from LA all excited only to be heartbroken when he got to NY. And the 2nd time he was jilted he ran up a massive restaraunt/bar tab at the expense of the show. He was joking around but seemed to have a hint of bitterness too. I don't blame him!

At the end the musical guests came out and they were great but Dave didn't seem to care. The spotlight was off him and he just sat in his chair and basically staired at his desk. When the band finished the spotlight was back on him and he immediately did a 180 and smiled, applauded and acted as if he totally cared. Good stuff!

Regardless, it was a cool experience getting to see a late night legend live and meet one of the most famous deli owners in the country. Next time I'm going to try the Letterman sandwich.

2006-06-17T16:16:00.000-05:00

Stephen Colbert Interviews Republican Congressman Lynn Westmoreland From Georgia

This is Stephen Colbert's interview with Lynn Westmoreland. How did this guy get to be a congressman? He is a joke! But really we shouldn't blame him, we should blame the Georgians that voted him in and are helping to waste taxpayer dollars. Not a whole lot of free thinking going on over there!

As seen on Break.com

2006-05-16T17:07:00.000-05:00

Changing the Face of Pro Sports

In light of our continually changing world I’ve decided to re-name some US/Canadian sports teams for fun. I think team names should evolve to fit the current times. Here are some name changes for the 4 major sports leagues-hockey, baseball, basketball and lastly football. And go Buffalo!

NHL
Tampa Bay Lightning- Tampa Bay Energy Crisis
Washington Capitals- Washington Hypocrites
Edmonton Oilers- Edmonton Clean Ethanol
Carolina Hurricanes- Carolina FEMA Disaster Relief
Nashville Predators- Nashville NSA Wiretappers
Colorado Avalanche- Colorado Melting Polar Ice Caps
Buffalo Sabres- Buffalo Plastic Airplane Knives
St. Louis Blues- St. Louis Middle Class America Depression
Montreal Canadiens- Montreal Quebecois Seperatists

MLB
Washington Nationals- Washington War on Terror
Los Angeles Dodgers- Los Angeles Immigration Dodgers
Texas Rangers- Texas Immigration Patrol
Atlanta Braves- Atlanta Bible Belters
Houston Astros- Houston Downsized Space Program
Detroit Tigers- Detroit Urban Decay

NBA
Washington Wizards- Washington Wizards of Corruption
Detroit Pistons- Detroit Gas Guzzlers
Utah Jazz- Utah Jazzy Polygamists
Orlando Magic- Orlando Magical Tourist Façade
Miami Heat- Miami Global Warming
Los Angeles Clippers- LA Clippers of Medicare

NFL
Buffalo Bills- Buffalo Devaluated US Dollar
New Orleans Saints- New Orleans Fish Bowl
New England Patriots- New England Dead Bill of Rights
Cleveland Browns- Cleveland Brown Nosing Lobbyists
Green Bay Packers- Green Bay Overseas Shippers of American Jobs
Oakland Raiders- Oakland Raid on Immigrants
New York Giants- NY Giant Elitists
Dallas Cowboys- Dallas National Rifle Association

2006-05-15T20:13:00.000-05:00

2006-05-10T16:50:00.000-05:00

Walgreen’s and CVS-Lying to Consumers

Walgreen’s and CVS are typical of the American business world. They are massive drug stores that have exploded everywhere while diminishing small businesses and competition. We frequently hear about high pharmaceutical costs and how we pay more for drugs than people in most countries do. What we don’t hear enough of is the fault of the drugs stores and their accountability for being part of the problem. Not only do many massively mark up prices but they also lie about their expiration dates.

I have priced various drugs without insurance and found Walgreen’s to usually be the most expensive, sometimes charging as much as $20 more than their competitor’s for the same exact prescription! Talk about a markup! Many Americans including myself don’t have health insurance and I’m sure many don’t realize that prescription drug prices can vary substantially depending on where you go (I didn't know until recently). If you don’t have health insurance I highly suggest picking up the phone and calling different pharmacies to price your prescriptions. It doesn't take long and it can save you a good $20 sometimes.

On top of charging such high prices, Walgreen’s, CVS and others are also lying to their customers about the expiry dates of their drugs. This may not be as important as the initial cost but it plays an overall factor in consumer cost. If consumers discard a drug they believe to be expired when it isn’t and can still be used, this is ultimately an additional cost on top of an already high cost. Here is an email I wrote to CVS regarding this and their response:

Alex

To Whom it May Concern,

I was wondering why you set the expiry date for all your prescriptions for 1 year from when they are filled? I always wondered about this because most over the counter drugs are good for at least 2 years from when they are purchased. I recently started going to Albertson's pharmacy and they set the expiry date 2 years from when the prescription is filled. Don't you think you should put accurate expiry dates on your drugs? There is no way all your prescriptions expire 1 year from purchase. People like myself who don't have health insurance can pay a lot of money for prescription drugs and I really think it's only fair that you put accurate dates so people don't throw away drugs pre-maturely as I have done in the past. I would appreciate a response.

Thank you.

CVS

Dear Alex ----------:

Thank you for your email regarding the expiration date on your prescriptions at your local CVS/pharmacy.
We appreciate the time that you have taken to express your thoughts on our company. At CVS, customer input plays an important role in influencing how we run our business. Therefore, I have advised our Pharmacy Operations Team of your concerns.
Again, Alex, we appreciate the fact that you have taken the time to inform us of your concerns and have given us the opportunity to address them. CVS has a commitment to service. Each customer is valued, and we thank you for bringing this to our attention.

Sincerely,
Jenny Calcano
Customer Relations Representative

I was expecting a garbage response and that’s exactly what I got. It’s nice and politically correct with no substance to it whatsoever. I'm sure their going to look into it ASAP! Yeah right! I had more personal beef with Walgreen’s however. I had to write them a letter because you cannot complain to them via email. What is this? 1996! Anyways, This is what I wrote in my letter:

Alex

To Whom It May Concern,

This letter is regarding the expiry dates you set on your prescription drugs. I was wondering why you always set the expiry date for 1 year from when they are filled when this is not accurate? I always wondered this because most over the counter drugs you purchase are good for at least two years. However, the concrete evidence I saw and which really upset me was on a box of Lidoderm patches that a Walgreen’s filled for my Dad. As usual, you set the expiry date for 1 year which was 10/13/05. Many people would discard the remainder of the box thinking they are bad when they are not. On the box the real expiry date is printed which is 12/2006. They are good for more than 1 year after you say they are. This bothers me because in the past I have discarded drugs I could have used. Most memorably was Malaria tablets I purchased two years ago from a Walgreen’s. I did not use them in Thailand and just over a year later I was in Vietnam but I discarded them because it was past the 1 year standard expiry date you set. I really think you should stop misleading people and print more accurate dates because you are cheating consumers. This is particularly bothersome when your slogan is “The Pharmacy America Trusts.” I recently started getting my prescriptions from Albertson’s and they set their expiry date for a generic two years which is much better than what you and CVS do. I believe you should practice the same policy they do, especially considering you charge an overall higher price than some of your competitors. I know this because I don’t have insurance and price my prescription drugs. Many Americans wouldn’t even think you guys charge varying prices so the least you can do is be more honest about the expiry dates. A response would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Walgreen's

Of course what they wrote back was garbage as well but at least it was more substantial than CVS's response. It is hard to see the letter because I don't have a scanner so I took a digital picture of it.

There is a loophole in the system that allows them to get away with misleading consumers regarding expiry dates. They wrote that a standard was set by the US Pharmacopeial Convention, this is verbatim from them:

“In the absence of stability data, a beyond-use date shall be not later (a) the expiration date on the manufacturer container or (b) one year from the date the drug is dispensed, whichever is earlier.”

Walgreen's wrote “In other words, the stability of a prescription medication can only be guaranteed while the product is in the controlled conditions of the pharmacy. Once dispensed to a patient, the product may lose stability and potency if, for example the patient leaves the medication in an overheated automobile or the medication falls into a wet bathroom sink.” Wow! That last bit is actually funny! Wouldn’t you know your medication wasn’t good that long if it fell into a wet bathroom sink? And they tell you on every medication out there not to leave it in the heat. So their argument of setting a standard one year expiration date is simply unacceptable.
They even lie in the letter calling it a “use before” date. Their prescriptions do not say that, they say “discard after.” So they are “The Pharmacy America Trusts” huh? They have some nerve to claim that.

So if you have some leftover prescription cough medicine or malaria tablets (in my case) or back pain patches (such as my Dad's case) or whatever and it sits in your medicine cabinet for more than one year, and it doesn’t fall in a wet bathroom sink, keep it around a bit longer using good reason. I know some people do this anyways, but I know lots of people don’t. If you don’t your allowing corporate America to take more money from your wallet. Please don’t do that.

2006-05-09T20:57:00.000-05:00

Stephen Colbert Speaks to President Bush

As seen on Break.com

2006-03-28T21:08:00.000-05:00

Bill Keller, Christian or Hate Mongor?

Last night I was watching a Becker re-run when the show ended and "Live Prayer" overran my tv set. I kept the channel where it was and witnessed a total bashing of Muslims and every religion aside from Christianity. Bill Keller went so far as to say the prophet Mohammed was a "murdering pedophile!" Wow! I haven't heard that one before!

The show is a total joke. He has one cameraman and sits for an hour preaching hate and taking calls, half the people that call sound stoned. Behind him is a fake library, I guess real books do not matter to this man. He even declared on the show that the Bible was written by God. That is just a bold faced lie but should not be a suprise coming from an ex-convict. I logged onto the liveprayer website and clicked on his testimonial where it said he turned back to God after serving a 2 and 1/2 year sentence in a federal prison for insider trading. Now this man runs a live late night show that airs at 1am all over Florida.

Below is a series of emails that were exchanged between myself and Bill Keller and my wife and Bill Keller. Many people believe they are actually writing to share their prayers with Keller but in fact he pays people to respond for him. I know this only because it was said to my wife in a response. Aside from being completely demeaning to my wife, his representative continually called me an idiot and preached hateful things. He screams in his responses and uses LOL constantly. It was like speaking to a 14 year old! He even resorted to calling me a "pussy" for not wanting to come down there and saying what I wrote in person. Well, I don't have a criminal record like Bill Keller does and plan to keep it that way.

It is quite sad that this criminal and hateful man claims to be a disciple of God and is actually going national! His ultimate goal is to be on in the afternoon and compete with Oprah! Part of the reason must be because he is a total spectacle but this is not a comedy show, it's supposed to be about prayer. On the show "Live Prayer" he constantly says he wants people to know the truth. Now I see that the "Colbert Report" on Comedy Central is not only a pun on Fox News but a pun on ridiculous people such as the Pastor Bill Keller.

I just wanted to share this with you and if you agree with me please email your local station that airs Bill Keller and tell them to take this criminal hate mongor off the air. It is men like this that work hand in hand with the Bush administration to breed an ideology of hate that has taken over a large segment of our population. What this man is preaching is no better than what some Fundamentalist Muslim clerics are doing in schools throughout the Middle East. He is teaching hate through religion. Suffice to say, the hateful rhetoric got my wife and I pretty fired up...

Alex to
Bill Keller

I was just watching your show and I just wanted to say how ignorant you are to preach that the Islamic religion condones violence. And Christianity doesn't? What about the Crusades? What about Iraq? That is a war started by a fundamentalist Christian such as yourself. How can you call yourself a Christian and preach ignorance and tell people to be intolerant? That makes you no better than a fundamentalist Muslim. You are just as bad! Oh and I don't know if God condones talking on your cell phone on your way to work but could you please not do that. Studies show that it's as dangerous as drunk driving so you are endangering God's children...

Bill Keller to
Alex

the Crusades..do you live 700 years ago????..and the "war" you mention was started by MUSLIMS..or did you sleep thru 9/11???...and if you equate talking on a cell phone with driving drunk..it is YOU who are an ignorant fool..but you have already demonstrated that by your blatant ignorance..funny..idiots like you ALWAYS have free Yahoo or Hotmail email accounts..LOL!!!
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Alex to
Bill Keller

Excuse me but I am far from ignorant as I have a bachelors degree in History, postgraduate studies in business and have travelled all over the world. I was president of Phi Alpha Theta Honors History Society. No I didn't sleep through 9/11 but 9/11 was a reaction by the Muslim world to American imperialism throughout the middle east, particulary US involvement in Saudi Arabia. By fighting a war in Iraq we are killing innocent Americans and Iraqi's and breeding more terrorists. And don't you think we can be called terrorists for doing what we've done there? Thanks for voting this president in and creating more chaos in this world...Oh and as far as calling me an idiot for comparing talking on your cell phone with drunk driving, below is a link that addresses research showing this. I love the fake library in the background of your show. But I guess real books don't matter to you. And God did not write the bible like you said on your show, man did and it has been translated and re-written countless times. I think a few extra's have been thrown in there and your foolish if you think otherwise. It might not be Joseph Smith but its still been written by man.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/1887238.stm

Bill Keller to
Alex

LOL!!..so what..lots of idiots have degrees!!...you are still lost..and clueless..
"but 9/11 was a reaction by the Muslim world to American imperialism
..so flying airplanes into buildings of innocent people is justification?..LOL!!!
"And God did not write the bible like you said on your show"..really..you re free to belvie whatever you want..but one day you will die..and stand before this God you deny..and sadly..it will be too late when you find out how wrong you are..enjoy..

You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Alex to
Bill Keller

I appreciate you not writing back before with more hatred and hate mongoring rhetoric but you should be ashamed of the way you speak to women. What you wrote to my wife before was disgusting and you certainly make a strong case for abortion because considering what you said to a female perhaps you should have been aborted yourself. My wife is no child killer and I was not stoned when I watched your program last night but inspired to write about your idiocy as I am a writer. How old are you? By your responses (and I read what you wrote to my wife) you sound like your 16 putting LOL in caps and all your exclamation marks. What kind of farce is this? Keller preaches some hate but this is really too much. You need to be very careful with how you respond to people because you don't know who's on the other end and what actions they might take. But at the very least you should seriously be more professional and not disgustingly demeaning towards women (don't Muslims do that?).

Bill Keller to
Alex

LOL!!..your wife supports killing babies..says all who watch Dr. Keller's program are "stoners"..guess that included you...and I could care less what "action you take"..when you send a "crackpot" email like you did..what do you expect?..sorry..all teh "nutjob" emails like your wife's go in the same pile..oh..guess you will find out how "idioic" it all is the moment you die and stand before God..you'll ahve all eternity to think who the real idiot was..:)..enjoy..
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Alex to
Bill Keller

You are laughing an awful lot for a disciple of God. And what is this about Keller being a doctor? I read his testimonial and it says he has an "undergraduate degree in biblical studies." That doesn't equate to being a doctor! Maybe I should go around telling everyone I am a doctor too. And this just keeps getting better. Your boss has spent 2 and 1/2 years in federal prison!! LOL Some disciple of God he is!! LOL!! At least neither my wife nor I have ever even been arrested!! LOL I wish he could tell me whats its like!! LOL So what have you gone to jail for?? Smoking crack!! LOL. And hey dumbwit there is a difference between killing a baby and killing a fetus, abortion is not baby killing you jerkoff!! And my wife has never had an abortion anyways. You and your whole fiasco of an operation is complete bull and let me tell you now you and your crony boss will have some serious answering to do yourselves. Burn in hell yourself you fool!

Bill Keller to
Alex

Dr. Keller doesn't publicize the fact he has an EARNED Doctorate form one of the nations leading seminaries..he has been in the ministry for over 16 years now...ever wonder why over 2.2 million people subscribe to what Dr. Keller writes every day?,..,or wh over 1/4 million people watch his TV program on major secular stations all over Florida every night?..or why a major network will be airing his program nationwide starting this July?..and you are who???..LOL!!!!!.and if you think a "fetus" is not a baby..you need to go back to smoking the dope your wife said you were smoking last night..I guess you both support the slaughter of innocent babies..the only one full of bull is cowards who send crackpot emails hiding behind their FREE email accounts..funny..you guys are all teh same..never seen one of you have the guts to come to Dr. Keller's office and ever say anything to his face..guess that would take balls..neither you nor your wife have..LOL!!!..now..you are dismissed..back to your bong..and "writing"..LOL!!!!
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Alex to
Bill Keller

What seminary did he go to? Or do you just take this criminal at face value? The reason he has such a following is because many Americans are ignorant and blinded by fools like you. I unlike many Americans have travelled all over the world, way more than you, Keller and everyone in your department combined I am sure. I have travelled to 27 different countries and lived in Melbourne, Australia a year. The culture capital of Australia. I have a couple more questions for you. Was Keller sodomized by a big black man while in prison? Is that why he turned back to God? And how much money has he taken from Jack Abramoff? Why doesn't he use all the money he gets to do good rather than have a lame tv show spewing garbage. I would LOVE to come down there and tell him to his face! When can we arrange a meeting or will you hide behind the security in your office??? I read you get 20 death threats a month, gee I wonder why!!!

Bill Keller
to Alex

LOL..you are nothing but a joke..you did this..you did that..yet YOU are the one who watches Dr. Keller..and you and your baby kiling wife have spent all day emailing me..LOL!!!!...if you are such a big man..go by Dr. Keller's office and ask him for yourself..funny thing aobut pussies like you..you are huge men .."well traveled"behind a computer..and an email account..face to face..you guys are NOTHING..LOL!!..now..go back to your bong..adn keep dreaming about all thsoe places you have been to..LOL!!!...the difference between Dr. Keller and you is he is real..you re a joke..oh..and he does more to help people in a day than you will do in your life..go away stoner..your wife was right..you are delusional!!..LOL1!!
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,Bill Keller

Alex to
Bill Keller

LOL I read everything my wife wrote you and she didn't say anything about me being delusional. But thanks for trying to come between our great marriage! LOL She is from Australia, I am American so we've been through loads to be where we are now. As much as I would love to go down there I'll keep my clean criminal record and let a dumb fool like you call me a "pussy." God knows what would happen to me if I came down. Will your security goons whack me over the head and put me right on the boat to the lake of fire?? Or is there a medieval torture chamber below Keller's office?? Whatever the case I will keep a clean criminal record unlike Keller. Yeah I've emailed lots today but I'm now enjoying it too because you guys are a total joke. I saw the show for the first time last night as I was watching Becker as I enjoy a good laugh and thought another comedy would follow. Instead it was cheesy Keller and I was like oh my god this thing is a joke!! LOL I had a good laugh watching...and I will watch again for more laughs!!

Bill Keller to
Alex

good..enjoy..you only help keep his program the top rated program in the state of Florida between midnight and 6 am..that is why the ministry was just paid over 10 million for the rights to air the program nationwide starting in July..LOL!!..enjoy..
and no wonder your wife condones killing babies..oh..I get paid to email crackpots like you..so there is only one idiot..LOL!!..enjoy..

You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

That was the complete unedited version of my back and forth exchanges with "Keller" over the course of a day. Sure, I stooped to their level but I tried to have some fun with them. I love how these people twist things, it was mentioned that much of his secular audience at 1am are stoners so I was automatically branded as one. Meanwhile, at my wife's office that very same day she was exchanging emails with the Keller goons...

Bellinda to
Bill Keller

Hi,

I can't say I've bothered to watch your show, but my husband finds you hilariously funny and directed me to your web page.
Now I find it very interesting that you have a video of an abortion. Do you think it should be made illegal? Because if you do, I'd like you to put on your web site a video of a backyard abortion so fundamentalist Christians can see exactly what that would entail. Because while you can make it illegal you will never stop abortions from occurring and if you had an ounce of intelligence you would realise this.
I also find it disturbing that you use the money people give you to keep your show on the air. Do you really think that what you have to say is that profound? It seems dubious to me that you have any insights into this world that warrant you having your own show. Also the people who watch your show are the people who can probably least afford to give you money, so I think your show is a bit of scam on the less fortunate.
But I would like to congratulate you on having a great time slot, right after Becker. Ohhh and you know that having a show at 1am you are actually getting ratings from many stoners ;)

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

LOL!!...ever wonder why we are on "live" on UPN here in Tampa..ABC in Miami..Jacksonville..West Palm...PAX in Orland..the WB in Ft. Myers..adn over 250,000 people a night watch?...oh..we will be going nationwide in July..LOL!!...the reason I am on is to reach lost souls like you and your husband.....it takes a pretty sick individual to think killing babies is a good idea..but hey..over 4,000 women a day SLAUGHTER their baby..glad you approve..maybe your mother should avhe thought like you do..

You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bellinda to
Bill Keller

Wow!! What an unprofessional email. "LOL"?? How old are you? 16?
I refuse to come down to your level and call you names... as for me being a "sick individual" yeah I guess I must be pretty sick to have volunteered my time at a cancer hospital to talk to terminal patients.
I would love to know how many people who watch you actually take what you say seriously or are laughing at how ridiculous you are.
You are part of the reason America is falling apart. Why people cannot access adequate healthcare or social services. Where is God then? I really hope that your Republican buddies continue to support your propaganda.
As for my mother I'd rather you just kept lame comments like that to yourself as it proves no point and just reveals how pathetic your argument is.

PS. Please keep me out of your prayers as I feel I do not need to be there.

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

anyone who advocated the slaughter of babies..is a SICK adn DEMENTED human being..if you think talking to terminal cancer patients makes you a hero..and yet out of your same mouth you advocate killing babies.s.you are e not only sick..but very twisted....there is nothign to argue..you either support slaughtering innocent babies..or you don't..it is clear you do..enjoy hell..

You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

oh..if you think Dr. Keller would waste his valuable time answering crack pot emails like yours..you are even more ignorant that your email leads on..LOL..
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bellinda to
Bill Keller

You know what, I wasn't going to continue this exchange, however as you chose to insult me I think I will.
Last time I checked Christians are not meant to be as insulting as you are. Do you believe that writing such unprofessional and highly emotive emails does anything for your cause? Believe me it does not.
Did I say I advocate the killing of "babies" any where is my previous emails? No I did not. I believe women should have a choice to terminate a "fetus" if they feel they are not able to be the best mother to that child they can be. Which would you rather a child be abused by their parents or a fetus terminated?
Ohh and you are such a hero for spouting all this narrow minded propaganda. No I'm not a "hero" as you put it but a kind person who would help any one regardless of race religion or whatever other prejudices you hold.

Bellinda to
Bill Keller

Huh so you are just some lacky he pays minimum wage (if that even) to reply to his "hate mail"? Nice job you have. I hope you enjoy your daily hate session.

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

"I believe women should have a choice to terminate a fetus"...translation..I believe women should have the choice to SLAUGHTER THEIR BABY..

..kind person?..LOL!!..please..anyone who advocates slaughtering children is not kind in any dictionary I read..but if that is how you live with yourself ..knock yourself out..according to you..your husband is a "stoner"..I guess you would avhe to be high all the time to live with a woman who thinks killing babies is a good idea..enjoy hell..

You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

..no..most emails are legit..people with real problems..thankfully..I get the crackpots like you every now and than to break the day up...lost souls who think killing babies is a good thing..LOL...enjoy hell..

You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bellinda to
Bill Keller

How unchristian!! I never said my husband was a stoner. I hope Keller realises what a fool he has answering his emails in such a mean spirted manner. When your judgment day is up I hope these words come back to haunt you.

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

LOL..what a home..a hubby who sits up all night watching TV stoned..and a baby killer..who pacifies her conscience by every now and than talking to cancer patients..get lost..
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bellinda to
Bill Keller

As I said, could you be any LESS Christian here if you tried? Telling me to get lost! HA! Charming
Don't assume to know my home life.
And you if you had an ounce of a brain you wouldn't need spell check and wouldn't need to resort to writing LOL every other line like a 16 year old.

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

blah..blah..you aren't amusing me any longer..sorry..enjoy hell..
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

Bill Keller to
Bellinda

LOL..do you think I actually READ what you write?..LOL!!..go take a hit off of your hubbys bong..
You will be in my prayers, be richly blessed,
Bill Keller

This entire exchange occured throughout the course of one day! These people are relentless, as long as you email them with something they don't like they will email you back with something really nasty. What bothered me the most was how degrading the emails to my wife were. Keller has argued his right to freedom of speech on his show while bashing people like Howard Stern. It's ironic because they both have something in common-they both degrade women. But at least Howard Stern doesn't preach hate while claiming to be righteous!